jack daniels no.7 1985

Jack daniels 1985


Nine inch snails

It is the future. The year is 2015. Earth is no longer inhabited by life. The human race fell to cancebolaids and was mostly wiped out. North Korean leader kim jung un had fallen kim jung ill and died. In a remarkable fit of rage dennis rodman’s wife, dennis rodman had fired off all of north Koreas nuclear warheads which sparked a world wide nuclear war, destroying the last of any life to have ever existed.

Lightyears away, on yarmel 4, a lone robot named Patrick was feeling down. He thought of his imaginary friend, quarlin. Quarlin would usually make him upload happy as they would frolic through gallons and leagues of internet. He was depressed though, so Patrick uploaded memories of leonard cohen songs.

‘oh quarlin’ Patrick said aloud ‘I wish you were here to make me feel better about this pitiful existence.’

A series of beeps came from behind Patrick. Quarlin was there. patrick turned around to gaze his digital eye on quarlin. Quarlin was a tall, slender built mobile actor robot. Quarlins biggest role was in a terminator movie as an extra in the post apocalyptic montage. Patrick’s antenna grew and stiffened with delight. Quarlin spoke: ‘1001100101001000111001010001100100101101001110101001001001010101001100100010010010010010001010101010010010101101001001010010101001010100101001111001010010100100010010010010101010010101010101001001.’ Said quarlin.

Patrick, ashamed, hung his head. It was true what quarlin had said. His sister robot was an embarrassment. Patrick’s sister was a simple sexual pleasure device, a whore among most other technological crafts. You see, quarlin did exist in reality, but Patrick imagined that quarlin was his friend, instead of the bitter pretty hate machine he was crafted to be.

Patrick rolled away on his tank treads, one robotic arm reached down to grasp the waist of his brown corduroy pants. Patrick wore the corduroy pants to hide further shame; Patrick had a small toaster coil for genitals, so he wore pants to cover his guilt. Patrick had seen belts before and even held one in his robotic grasp, but would not use the technologically sound apparatus to hold his pants up. Patrick didn’t mind holding his pants up by his hand, because robot arms don’t get tired. Patrick rolled away reminiscing of his cousin’s unlikely outcome, some 30 years ago.

Patrick’s cousin was a cigarette dispensing coin op machine from the 70’s who was outcasted in the 80’s. no longer would kids insert quarters into his cousins slot and pull one of his many arms to receive underage nicotine fixes. When Patrick’s cousin heard the news, that he would be considered not only obsolete, but illegal, he had done the unthinkable- he drank a life ending brio. That soft drink, the unpalatable Italian soda seized his cousins arms and soaked the leftover cigarettes in his system. It was martyrdom.

Patrick had not though out his consequences of leaving his cratered patch of yarmel 4 rocks and dust behind, unattended. You see, quarlin had crept into patricks favourite play area and stole the last of patricks possessions, a bottle of jack daniels from 1985. Quarlin looked around to make sure nobody was looking and poured the vintage Tennessee whiskey onto his flavor receptors. Quarlin smiled as he thought about the abundance of flavor. He thought to himself, this tastes like 10011010101110101010101010101001010110100101010010101011001011110010100101010001001010101010010100101001011111010100101001010100101101001010101100110010101101001010101010101001010010110100101010010100101111010101010101100101010010101001001011100101010101000101001110101010100110101001101111110010101010010101010101001.

It sure does.

Alc. 45%


Standard jack daniels no.7 black label bottle. This one has a 45% acohol instead of a typical 40% from nowadays.


The standard fruity profile stands true with the wafts of juicy fruit gum and charred corn. Foamy banana candies, oak and vanilla lay behind the upfront roast corn, nuts and barrel char. Cigarette ashes.


Thick palate, creamy texture and a peppery blast of fruit like apples, banana and coconuts. Much richer and much more appealing than the standard no.7 of present days. This bottling focuses more on fruit than grain it seems, powerful barrel notes and fruity rye finish followed by black pepper.

Please note:

Jack daniels no.7 was produced as a 45% alcohol product since creation, with the lower level green label wearing the 40%. A tasting panel employed by the jack daniels distillery concluded which would be the premium black label and which would be labeled green for standard quality.

In 1987 jack daniels no.7 dropped its alcohol level to 43% and further in 2002, it dropped to 40%. Other distilleries have tried out this method of dropping proof to little success or complete failure, forcing the bottlers to keep the original proof.

The reason distillers drop proof is to stretch out product to keep up with demand by adding as little as 2% more water to the final blend.

In the case of some other whiskies, distillers keep the proof high to stay as close as the taste as when it came from the barrel. In other words, cask strength whisky can be the highest regard for a certain barrel.




A friend brought me a sample of this to try stating he bought it for 130$ in 2014. Unfortunately, you’ll be hard pressed to find this bottle unless you know a collector of jack daniels or vintage whiskies. this is, however outstanding jack daniels.

Possibly the smoothest jack product ive ever tasted.

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