jim beam white label

Jim beam white label


Marsellus Wallace

Marsellus Wallace only liked to get fucked by Mrs. Wallace, we learned early in our adventure. For that reason, and that reason alone Marsellus Wallace was about to have a terrible week.

We start by seeing that Mr. Wallace has a bandage on the back of his neck. That bandage indicates in folklore that he had his soul extracted. I once told a man of faith that I did not believe in souls and he quickly told me I was fucked, so, Marsellus, in turn is fucked.

Marsellus got fucked for a boxing match bet too, by that fist fucking, face fucker, bruce fucking willis. Bruce didn’t take a dive in his match, like he was supposed to, but instead he just flat out killed the guy in the ring, like the epic wrestler, sabu.

Walking through an intersection one day, Marsellus was walking with a box of possibly contaminated cronut burgers and he crossed paths with bruce fucking willis and once Marsellus discovered who was behind the wheel of the car, Marsellus was already getting fucked by the car, which was running over his kingpin like frame.

After getting run over by the car, Marsellus was getting preeeetty pissed off with white people in general and popped a random pedestrian in the hip with a rather large revolver. Marsellus chased bruce fucking willis into a gay underground interrogation room, and weapons cache when, long story short, Marsellus Wallace literally finds himself getting fucked by a Klansman. Don’t trust whitey.

After all that, there’s the adorable white version of dora the explorer, the always lovely, heroin snorting Mrs. Wallace. Mrs. Wallace loves her cocaine and sock hop restaurants. Who cares if she cant tell the difference between four equal length sides and right angles from four straight sides and four right angles, one unequal with adjacent sides. Squares, rectangles, who cares? i like milkshakes, you like milkshakes and Mrs. Wallace likes milkshakes too. they’re 5$, and don’t contain any bourbon. But if it did…

Alc. 40%


Tall square prism decanter. Very busy. Has a lot to read and a large red wax label decal on the bottle front. Seems they need more bottle rather than less text.


Lilacs, juicy fruit, red licorice, cocoa dusting.


Sour, malty, beery and vegetal. Some pineapple, foamy banana. hot and spicy throughout, smoothing out to a chocolatey finish. Vanilla packed ride.

Please note:

The bohm family had emigrated from germany to Kentucky and started distilling whiskey under the moniker old jake beam in 1795.

The family had always kept distilling in the family, and after prohibition ended in 1933 the beam family once again built a distillery in Clermont. Although this time the distillery was under the name of fourth generation distillery manager james beam and the bourbon would be named jim beam.

The beam family also plays an integral part of the heaven hill distillery, as it is founded and run by beam family members.

In 2011 jim beam separated from fortune brands and became its own conglomerate project called beam, inc. which held names like Canadian club, Alberta premium as well as the higher end of the beam bourbons. in 2014 beam inc was purchased for the tidy sum of $16 billion by Japanese owned drinks giant Suntory to create the beamsuntory family.


A mixing bourbon purchased mainly for brand loyalty. Jim beam white label carries an uncompromised consistency, but there are much better in this stable.

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