deathmatch jim vs. jack

Deathmatch #2

jim beam white label vs. jack daniels black label

 

50 shrodes of gary

 

Ooh yeah! Mmm. Doesn’t that look good? Now turn it that way and stick it in your mouth, no teeth, let it straddle your tongue… oh… hey! Didn’t see you there, I was just showing my friends here how to properly pour whisky into their mouth for proper tasting technique.

So, the news this week is that north America is plagued by threats of being overpowered by outside forces in nuclear arms race and women around the western hemisphere are upset with the casting choices of a softcore porn actor.

Yep, legal snuff film 50 shades of grey has shot from a video projector and splattered all over a viewing screen and is smeared with all the absurd hysteria that hate-fucking can bring. Women(im assuming) have been flocking to watch the film in theaters and are apparently anticipating so much from what they’ve read to translate into film eroticism that they even risk getting ushered out of the theater by bringing in their own outside food, rather than pay for it at the concession stand. No, really, ushers under the age of consent working an usherboy job on weekends have reportedly been finding rows of seats covered with soiled cucumbers and spilled ‘drinks’ – ahem. Whatever happened to good ol hand sexing in a theater? One lady in London arrived under the influence of caviar and champagne and evacuated every sort of liquid she had in her body right there in her theater seat, due to ecstatic charge. Urine, vomit and feces flew from the woman due to the sheer thought of getting wheelchair confined by rough sex via some dude with a serious misogyny issue – and booze – she also drank too much booze.

Which leads me to some serious questions:

Whats up with chicks nowadays? Do they want to get strangle fucked? Do they not want to get strangle fucked…?

Why do people get fired and arrested and why does this dude with more weapons of scourge than Pontius pilate crucifying jesus get jerked off over like pee wee herman in a public spank tank?

What if I took black and white label whiskies and poured them against each other to make an ironic grey reference? What if I poured them together? Could I call the new blend… Christian grey?

 

Jim beam

Alc. 40%

Nose:

An earthy bourbon compared to jack head on. Nice dank licorice and some dried hay. Sour fruity start to nose, levels to burnt wood and burnt corn.

Palate:

Sour licorice and red fruits lead off to a spicy finish. Little watery in the mid palate. Mesquite, burnt bbq rub, bitter coffee finish. Beer.

Note:

Sweet, sour and spicy. Peppery exit.

Jack daniels

Alc. 40%

Nose:

Head on with jim its very chemical smelling. Sweet-sour nose of banana candy, juicy fruit gum and red licorice. Really candy like. fresh cut grass, dank oak, thick charred corn. Sweeter, thicker nose. More aromatic.

Palate:

Bananas, gum and paint thinner. Sweet and sour, full of tropical elements, then drops into sour spicy. Burnt, peppery corncobs and chemical. Smooth palate.

Note:

Sweet with fruit and chemical. Boldest and fullest profile.

 

Overall:

2nd jim beam

1st jack daniels

In a head to head two lower-mid shelf whiskies were compared and each had their own qualities to bring. Unfortunately for jim beam, my opinion is that jack daniels positively owned every category. Nose, palate, colour and texture were topped by jack, even by a margin in the nose.

This was a battle of fruit vs spice on the palate, but ol jim has a void in the middle of the palate that makes it seem watery. Jack daniels is solid the whole way through.