cobra whisky

Cobra whisky – whisky with a dead cobra inside the bottle

 

Employee of the millennium

 

We have a few things in common, all of us in the world, that makes us all people of the same, magnificent, human race. We have been born, somewhere in there, we pee, we poo, then we die. We are all born to die.

While being inspired by my Machiavellian philosophy on life, here’s a different view. Sometimes, some of us are born to kill. Not like, one or two people, or even a dozen, because they can be really tragic stories and actually upsetting. Sometimes killing people can be cute, like when a soldier fought in world war 2 for like… you know, 30 years or so.

Employee of the month for 29 years straight, Japanese soldier turned lieutenant, a man named hiroo onoda lived in a forest of the Philippines slaughtering local residents, for example, local fishermen, because, you know, fuck fishermen… and cops. Hiroo entered the Japanese army at 18 and by 23 he was deployed as a rarely trained guerilla and landed on lubang island, in the Philippines, with the instructions to hamper all enemy attacks, never surrender and he was told specifically not to die. He was also ordered to take down an airstrip and the pier at the harbor. Did I mention he was a descendant in a long line of samurais? ‘Cause, that too.

The American army landed on lubang island and simply wiped out or capture the entire Japanese army, all but four men. The four men took off to the forest to hide and carry out their commanded duties. They were cut off from civilized humanity.

About a year after the war ended, the men individually started to find signed pamphlets sent out to the four stating the war was over. The Japanese government flew a b-17 bomber over where they were suspected to be holed up and dropped leaflet after leaflet stating the war was over. Hiroo decided it fake allied propaganda and denied the claims the war was over. Whenever a stranger would enter their line of sight, that person was fired upon, with the intent of killing enemy forces. The thought they were still fighting a war was fortified when a search party was deployed to seek out the dead.

The party made out well for decades, feeding off coconuts, mangoes, rice and killing the local’s cows for meat. They would preserve the entire cow for rations and live off the local foliage until their duties were complete.

Tragedy did strike the party of Japanese holdouts, though. Here’s the short story: the three other dudes died. Hiroo was around for the whole thing, he nursed a fellow holdout who was shot in the leg back to good health, without bandages or medicine in the middle of the woods. He got in gunfights with local authorities and other local guys out fishing, who were carrying their favorite fishing rifles.

As the decades went on, the Japanese army had to send out the original commanding officer who was hiroo’s superior. His name was norio. Norio set out to befriend Rambo, I mean, hiroo and relieve hiroo of his duties. Norio hid in the forest too, and after a while, hiroo, now alone, called out to norio and started to talk to him about his presence. Norio told him that his duties were to seek out hiroo onoda, a koala bear and an abominable snowman, in that order. They got along famously. In short time, norio revealed his identity as hiroo’s old commanding officer and relieved hiroo of his military duties, 29 years after world war 2 ended.

Upon hiroos return, he offered his samurai sword to the now president of the Philippines, declaring surrender. hiroo fought the Philippine residents until 1974, a remarkable 30 years past the wars end. His thirty year old fatigues were in excellent shape as well as his gear. He had a functional rifle with 500 bullets, some explosives and a curved dagger in which he was to use to kill himself if he were captured. Turns out the dagger was a gift from his own mother.

All in all, hiroo killed 30 men, some cows to preserve for rations and burned a bunch of the local rice, as were his duties. He was a killing machine who just didn’t stop. In his own right, he was a snake, or a killer cobra waiting to strike all who tread his path.

 

Alc. ?

Bottle:

Miniature hennessy bottle, stuffed with a dead, eviscerated cobra.

Nose:

Overwhelming swamp meat and smoky meat. Strong pencil shavings are filling my room with a background of dirty water bacon. completely revolting. Dog treat bacon, some cleaning fluid acidity, but just packed with this overwhelming reek of dead.

Palate:

Im shaking after drinking this first sip. Absolutely relentless flavor of dead meat, mineral, salt, fresh earth, sourness and very high in alcohol. So unusually thick. Short initial finish, but the dog treat made of pencil taste stays for a long time. Cringe worthy. Ive had two tasting sips and I cant continue.

Overall:

This simply cannot be found in your lcbo and if you wish to sample this riddle of disappointment and punishment you must travel to asia where the food laws are so lax or nonexistent, they can serve this.

Please note:

There are a few different reasons why somebody might come across a venomous cobra in a bottle of whisky:

There have been documents showing that some courageous people take small doses of venom quite often to build immunity, like Rasputin, who was reported to dose himself with cyanide so often, he became immune when he was to be assassinated via cyanide.

There are religious and spiritual views, depending on what part of the world you’ve found this. Drinking from the body of a snake can give spiritual fortitude, or enlightenment. Imagine, drinking trace venom of something that can kill you in minutes.

Its reported as a aphrodisiac.

The last reason ive come across is to sell to tourists. Why not? It’s a hot commodity and one that sells so often, critters of all types, beetles, spiders, snakes are often farmed in order to fill the bottles which are sold to passing, curious visitors.

This is based on rice whisky, found in laos. My sources are not credible on the production of this bottle in particular and in any case, I would advise you to avoid this or anything like this at all costs.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s