pappy van winkle 23

Pappy van winkle 23

 

Life hack: shut the fuck up sometimes

 

Hi, doctor gary Schroeder, bmf.

Do you experience negative things in life like receiving dirty looks or snide remarks in your direction, people spitting in your face and grabbing at your hands, trying to grab and break your fingers?

Well, rejoice! There will be no more of that, or passersby throwing cups of hot take out coffee at you and your dog when you’re out for a walk.

Its true! As a doctor I recommend shutting the fuck up sometimes. It works! Its gmo, pesticide and calorie free. Not only that, you don’t need a prescription or appointment to get it. just try for yourself. The steps are really simple to follow, just shut the fuck up sometimes and quit telling redundant, unbelievable and unimportant stories nobody wants to endure any more. Just shut the fuck up!

Side effects include: gain in respect, smiles, positivity and drastic reduction of people needlessly trying to disfigure you. Remember, before you leave the house or go on social media, just shut the fuck up sometimes!

Perhaps, you’re in a heartless corporation, trying to cut down stocks of your product and driving up the price so people will pay five times its original worth. First off you want to get a celebrity engulfed in his 15 minutes of fame to say ‘it’s the best thing ever’ on camera. Great! Now, try this! Stop being such a fucking cunt. Its incredible. Trust me, im a paid actor, I mean doctor. If you need to sell your product in a busy market, just try selling good product that stands on its own and remember, and stop being such a fucking cunt.

Pappy van winkle, your 23 year old product is inconsistent in review, but yet you have people clawing at each other to buy an overpriced bottle worth several times its worth in the secondary market because the popularity came from a paid celebrity chef praising it on camera. Personally, I find it unbalanced and unremarkable, and having a celebrity endorse a product throws up some serious red flags for me. Perhaps I can interest your PR and marketing guys in some stop being such a fucking cunt.

 

Alc. 47.8%

Bottle:

Tall with a label of the profile of a man smoking a long cigar, a la Hitchcock(its pappy himself). The colours are drab, but the picture is unforgettable once you lay eyes on it.

Nose:

First off being banana, cherries and red licorice. Soft and mild, cool and smooth. Soft clay, overturned earth. Absence of acetone. Light milk chocolate and slightly floral. Vanilla and fudge after airing. Gentle cream and ice cream. Candy shop aroma. Dusting of cocoa. big, dank nose.
Taste:

Overtaking with wood and spice which drops to a smoky, sweet, candied finish. Char and fudge. Cherries and grass, lead out to a moderate finish. Effervescent ginger ale, corncobs and earth.

Overall:

Way too overaged. Not pleasant.
 

Please note:

Originally crafted at the stitzle-weller distillery, pappy van winkle was procured by the buffalo trace brand and adopted into their portfolio. As of 2017 it is widely believed that the bourbon crafted at the stitzle-weller distillery has been depleted and all pappy is now from the buffalo trace distillery.

Widely regarded as the worlds most expensive bourbon, pappy 23 is crafted in small quantities and is vigorously sought out by collectors and connoisseur alike. Some believe that this bourbon is crafted in very small quantity to keep the price at a premium.

Controversy struck the pappy van winkle when celebrity chef Anthony bourdain, who was enjoying television popularity at the time announced that pappy van winkle was the best around. The controversy came afterwards when the batches were reduced and the price was raised, causing a higher demand for the popular product, which is widely frowned upon

Where as most bourbons have a small quantity of rye in their mash bill, this contains wheat instead of rye, providing a softer profile. It is rumoured that w.l. weller bourbon is practically identical to younger batches of pappy, if you’re seeking a substitute.