jack daniels green label

Jack daniels green label

 

 

Is there a god?

Of course not. But, if there was it would be pretty sweet I bet. You know, people living in harmony, no disease or famine, no currency and just living shit tight. If he did exist, he would have plans for everything too. I mean, we’re told he planned all this stuff already, so he’s going to supervise it too, hopefully.

But what if god liked to drink a little? Maybe he drank a little too much. He was god, he could just sit around in his boxers making hooch and drinking all day if he wanted, right? Sure, he has plans; groceries, intergalactic enemies, dodge child support payments for that ungrateful hippie kid of his, and of course, he would have to do things like microwave burritos so hot even he could not eat them.

Then there are the days he got drunk and slept through the alarm the next day. He would like to treat his flock well and think of different ways to make his people think they were not cattle, but he slips up sometimes, like the typical negligent drunk. He forgot to pay his hydro bills, so he’s growing a couple in the back yard and he hasn’t taken out the garbage for the last couple weeks and the neighbours are complaining of the smell.

One day god was playing a game of pick up with pat verbeek and returning some empties when the shit really hit the fan.

Niagara residents may remember the years before our recent bout with free market capitalism when we had a locally run water park in our beautifull city. After a couple fires, the place closed down, because hey, you know, water park, uncontrollable fires… its bound to happen.

There was a story I was told a couple times about that water park, and I never knew if it actually happened or not, but I want to share this story of what happens when god isn’t around or is just to hungover to give a fuck.

The water park had five huge slides that reached at least 8 stories high and intertwined all the way from top to bottom. Imagine if you could see the digestive system of metroplex and that’s the series of slides and pipes, to scale. The slides were off white with green railings and green algae clinging to the undersides of the hard, thick fiberglass. This kid was enjoying his Christianity filled day, sliding down slides and extinguishing spontaneous water park fires with endless amounts of water when he turned a corner on a slide and went over the edge, and started plummeting towards god’s green earth.

‘holy shit!’ god said from above. He dropped his half drank OV on his stained carpet. ‘that kids only 16! I have to save him. He’s not scheduled until his 36th year to die from Ebola!’ and god set out his will to break the fall.

And break the fall he did. The story I was told is that the kid fell roughly two stories when he landed on another slide to keep him from dying, which is a pretty sweet trick if he had a skateboard and busted a nollie hardflip on the way down, but, the thing was, the kid landed testicles first on the very same ledge that was supposed to keep him from flying out. He fell twenty feet down and landed on the railing – balls first and had the rest of his body weight absolutely decimate his nuts.

Into liquid. His nads were smashed into bloody pulp.

The rest of the story I don’t care for and its not really important, he fell, he lived. But if you want to slide down something wet and covered in green, why not have it be some jack daniels green label?

Alc. 40%

Bottle:

The rectangular old no.7 decanter with a green label. Sometimes it has gold lettering on the label. Most times white.

Nose:

Typical jack style. Candy shoppe. Packed with foamy bananas, licorice and juicy fruit. Wonderfull balance of oak and corn. Char is hidden by light, sour acetone. Lilacs and fruit blossoms.

Palate:

Thin and subtle. Peppery corn and peanuts topped with wood embers. Fruity with vanilla and cherry lollipops and ends softly with barrel and rye spice. Short, clean exit redolent of grapefruit pith and burnt wood. Perhaps a drop of pickle. Very pleasant and easy going.

Please note:

This release is currently sold in some duty frees and only four states that I’m aware of. It’s a cheaper product that is considered inferior to many jack drinkers, but I find its strong point is finesse and subtlety.

This blend is crafted with the majority being from the bottom of the rickhouses, or storage houses, so it doesn’t age as quickly as the other jack products, but I believe it gives time for the subtle nuance of gentle flavours, rather than the robust kick of a well aged bourbon.

Overall:

Worth the price point, although this is not an above premium product.

 

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