emparado light brandy liqueur

Emperado light brandy liqueur


Tofu hell


I like things. I like video games, my dog, whisky, girls, food and I like you. You like things. You like walking, frisbee, darts, food and me. We’re so cute! Oh! And we both like food. We have things in common. You know what? A lot of people like food. That gives us all something in common. Simply adorable.

Lets talk about food for a minute, shall we? Our food is pretty cool. We love to sit alone or in gatherings and eat. Its delicious! We catch up on our day, or our interests… man, getting together to eat and energize ourselves is a thing of beauty. Oh hey! Wait just a minute, I almost forgot, this is a Canadian whisky enthusiast article about brandy, so we’re going to talk about some really exotic dish. Oh… shit.

This is one of these ‘did it happen?’ dishes that is documented for use, but never documented as actually being executed. It involves tofu, and tiny fish called loaches and a large cooking vessel full of hell. Loaches are these little fish, maybe a little bigger than large minnows. They aren’t quite loafers and they aren’t quite leeches. They do, however go great with tofu. Lets take a cooking lesson together, shall we?

First, you get a little pot. I mean, a cooking vessel(serious, if you have some pot, call me). You fill that pot with water and put it on the fire to reach a rolling boil. Once that water is boiling you turn down the heat a bit. take a nice cold brick of tofu and drop it into the boiling water and watch it sink to the bottom. Hmm. Looks gooood. The next step is to take a couple handfuls of those cute loaches we were just talking about and make sure they’re fresh, alive and happy, then drop those guys right into the hot water.

Are you supposed to boil the loaches like a lobster, killing them instantly? Come on, you’re reading from cwe, you know we are not going to kill these things humanely.

When the loaches hit the extremely hot water, they are almost instantly blinded by the temperature cooking and coagulating the surface on the outside of their eyes. Breathing the water, the heat goes into their gills and circulates throughout the inside and outside of their body, cooking them alive, slowly. the fish rely on a fleeting sense of feel as they seek out the only cold sensation in the water; the tofu. The fish thrash and fight to scramble into the tofu and they bury themselves into the curd, seeking some sort of desperate relief. Lodging themselves into a soft solid in boiling water, they cannot escape and are cooked inside the tofu.

The tofu block is garnished with chopped scallion and disgrace.

The dish is called tofu hell. It may or may not have even been executed, but it is documented in different cookbooks from china, japan and the phillpines. You know what else comes from the phillipines? Emperado brandy.

Alc. 27.5


Tall typical wine bottle style with a large, bland, beige sort of label outlined with gold trim and red writing. Screw top lid with a fireproof pourer inside the bottle top. There’s a small crest of a lion and the word ‘premium’ which we can disregard at any point now.


A solid punch of toffee. The whole nose is very faint, besides the powerfull toffee and burnt sugar. Some wine, verjus and cut lumber. Sweet and sour. A bit floral and a bit tropical. From the nose, there is no sign of maturity to this, other than a couple years of oak.


V.s. grade brandy watered down and caramel added is my first impression. Very mixable tasting. The taste is very light, but intensely sweet.  Leaves a nice tingle on the inside of my mouth, stating that there is indeed some spirit to make this adult. Toffee, caramel, some sourness, a touch of lumberyard, a bit of spice and stonefruit.


This will find its proper place mixing with some ginger ale and lemon. Forgettable.