st. remy vsop

St remy vsop French brandy


Food for thought


Hello readers, today we are begrudgingly talking about brandy again, and I know whenever we talk about brandy we typically talk about the mistreatment of animals, or severe torture of our food or serving live animal table side, but this time im not going to talk about that. Sure we’re going to talk food, but this time its about your everyday food.

Should you be frightened by what you eat everyday? Probably. Your everyday north American meal is pretty disgusting.

Where to start? Well, you know those tasty chocolate bars that are wrapped in a yellow wrapper and the ingredients list states things like ‘may contain: peanuts, walnuts, cherry pieces, soy, wheat’? you know, those chocolate bars that are flat and more like taffy than a chocolate bar, well, guess what. Those are the very last leftovers of a days work in a chocolate bar factory. the stuff is scraped off machines and tables and sometimes floor and they’re all gathered, mixed, cooked, blended and pressed into those bars. Its all processed food that isn’t going to waste. Fun!

Relish from a squeeze bottle? That’s the reject cucumbers that couldn’t be made into pickles because they were too beat up, or rotten. The mold gets washed off and the cucumbers are boiled and mixed with vinegar, spices and artificial color to trick you into eating an otherwise, brown sludge. By the way, in giant facilities like this, the fda says that its ok to have a certain amount of animal or pest droppings(dander and fecal) in your processed condiments.

Ever use food coloring? Guess what? Red is a primary color and it can’t be created by mixing two colors together(like green or purple) so a source of red must be found to create red food coloring and it has to be cheap. You know what’s cheap? Beetles. So, these companies that produce red food coloring farm and harvest, then crush up a certain type of beetle that feeds regularly on a red berry. Those beetles are collected, crushed and dried. Then their pulverized and they go into your favorite ‘red’ colored foods, like strawberry milkshakes. Look for vegan food coloring.

Oh yeah, milkshakes. Do you like milkshakes? Well, the milkshakes that you get from a machine at a fast food joint that aren’t made directly from real ice cream are basically soy drinks held together with various thickeners and gums, and they’re typically flavored with secretions from an animals anal gland.

Say what? Anal glands in your food? What country is this? China? Well, china does hold an annual celebration called feast of the dog, in which dogs, actual dogs are slaughtered, cooked and eaten in massive quantity. But, hey! This is north America! We don’t eat dog, we eat beaver’s anal glands. Castoreum is the extracted secretion from a beavers anal gland which is used as a common and natural vanilla flavoring. Mmm, mmm.

Sausages? Mostly bone and tough inedible tendon that almost didn’t make it to the dog food bin. The most inedible, toughest not-meat-like products are ground very finely and flavored with spices and stuffed into an animals intestine and marked sausage. One study done in England actually found that most breakfast sausages sold contained 15% of what you might recognize as ‘meat’.

Is it summertime? You must want to bbq up a burger. Guess what. a recent study found 70% of American burgers contained pink slime. Pink slime is actually pure hell. Satan himself won a seat in the usda when they announced that ground meat and ground beef products can contain upwards of 25 fucking percent pink slime. Whats pink slime you ask. Well, you take old meat, going rancid, and treat it with acid or ammonia, and they cook it, grind it real fine and slip it right into your ground beef products.

You know where they don’t pull this shit though? France you say? Well, you’ve read enough of these to know I was going to say france anyways, so, you know, kudos you big spoiler. You know what else comes from france? Brandy, yes. You really have been reading these…

Alc. 40%


Flat green bottle with a black and tan label, garnished with gold striping


Simple, red grapes, red fruit, some citrus, burnt sugar, bitter wood and rubber.


Plain. Spicy hot, caramel, grape skins, some almond paste, dusting of cocoa and a little drying tannin.


I use this for cooking only.

Please note:

This is an authentic French brandy, which means it comes from wines that are grown and distilled in france. As for laws where they are aged, im not positive. Just keep in mind that this is most definitely not cognac, or even close to the quality of.


Being a vsop this has been aged in lightly charred oak for at least 4 years.